so. Its after 100am. nope, I'm not at work. UGGGGGHHHH! I just cant sleep. I can't even really blame my body for this, I think it's doing pretty good trying to keep up with my crazy new cycles. Although right now, it thinks that I should be awake even though I am telling it, its wrong. I am so desperately tired and very much so want to be asleep like Jeremiah, Ryder and Buddy but, here I sit. I laid in bed for quite some time tossing and turning, listening to Buddy snore and Jeremiah sleeping while periodically checking the clock hoping that it would reveal that I accidentally fell asleep but... no such luck. I decided to get up so as to not wake J by my tossing and turning and occasional sighs of frustration. (I've been wanting to put more pictures up but I'm having issues with the camera. It takes pictures fine but wont put them on the computer.)
I remember when I was younger and still in middle school and high school waking up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom or something and hearing my mom's radio on or stumbling across her in the living room. When I would ask her the next morning why she was still up she would always say that her body was tired but her mind would never slow down. I never understood that until recently. It could be perfect sleeping conditions but the minute I lay down its like chaos in my brain. Does this make any sense? Does this happen to anyone else? any solutions? I start thinking about work and get myself all stressed out and worried, then while continuing to play out bad scenarios I wonder to Ryder and If I'm being a good mom and raising him like I should, then to buddy and the lack of attention he has been getting, then to Jeremiah and how I could be a better wife and support him and how much I miss him and I hate debt then back to work, then to what to get ppl for Christmas then to my bad eating habits and lack of exercise, then about one of my dear Friends over seas, etc... you see the trend. It just never stops and there is always something to think about. Ive tried counting, reading, praying, guided imagery, watching a movie or TV etc. Sometimes one of them will work but now that I'm on nights... really its so hit or miss. I really don't want to revert to taking sleeping pills but I'm almost out of options. SUGGESTIONS??? I sort of miss being in the dorms b/c there was always someone up that I could go hang out with until I thought I could fall asleep. So anyway, this is where I'm at now.... help
RYDER'S VIDEO!
I tried to post this on here but the file was too big or something so here is the you tube link. It Ryder talking on our balcony. Please ignore my ramblings throughout... I Had been up for 36 hours on only 4 hours of sleep. What do you think? he's big isn't he? Oh and sorry for the boxy look, not sure what that's about.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SqTAWd5xPzo
I remember when I was younger and still in middle school and high school waking up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom or something and hearing my mom's radio on or stumbling across her in the living room. When I would ask her the next morning why she was still up she would always say that her body was tired but her mind would never slow down. I never understood that until recently. It could be perfect sleeping conditions but the minute I lay down its like chaos in my brain. Does this make any sense? Does this happen to anyone else? any solutions? I start thinking about work and get myself all stressed out and worried, then while continuing to play out bad scenarios I wonder to Ryder and If I'm being a good mom and raising him like I should, then to buddy and the lack of attention he has been getting, then to Jeremiah and how I could be a better wife and support him and how much I miss him and I hate debt then back to work, then to what to get ppl for Christmas then to my bad eating habits and lack of exercise, then about one of my dear Friends over seas, etc... you see the trend. It just never stops and there is always something to think about. Ive tried counting, reading, praying, guided imagery, watching a movie or TV etc. Sometimes one of them will work but now that I'm on nights... really its so hit or miss. I really don't want to revert to taking sleeping pills but I'm almost out of options. SUGGESTIONS??? I sort of miss being in the dorms b/c there was always someone up that I could go hang out with until I thought I could fall asleep. So anyway, this is where I'm at now.... help
RYDER'S VIDEO!
I tried to post this on here but the file was too big or something so here is the you tube link. It Ryder talking on our balcony. Please ignore my ramblings throughout... I Had been up for 36 hours on only 4 hours of sleep. What do you think? he's big isn't he? Oh and sorry for the boxy look, not sure what that's about.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SqTAWd5xPzo
I cant post a blog without some sort of picture so here are some older ones...
Our first picture as a couple =)
Just having fun!
3 comments:
Hey! I totally understand your sleep issues...I have them too sometimes. My mind doesn't stop! I just watch tv and it helps me fall asleep, but you said that doesn't work for you. Sorry I am not much help! Ryder is a cutie!
First, I must have missed Ryder growing up in the last few months. His last word (and first) that i remember is "lights!". Maybe we can see him more soon....
Second, this is a serious suggestion. Try reading the Bible. Not because it would put you to sleep,but would help release the worry, fill you mind on good thoughts and bring peace. That's a great combo for a good night's sleep. Then when all else fails, try reading Numbers or Levitacus...whichever one has the genealogies in it. Now THAT should put anyone to sleep ;)!!
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