YIKES

The last few weeks I have been working with my preceptor on the 7a to 7p shift. It has been going so well. I really think that I have one of the best jobs in the world. It is just amazing to be apart of the beginning of someones life. To be able to share those first hours of life with the new ones family. I mean, seriously, I get to witness miracles every day and it is just amazing. Hearing the babies cry for the first time still gets me all emotional. And most people, always remember their Labor and delivery nurse.
Next week, I will begin my adventure on the night shift (7p to 7a) Apparently it is much more conducive to learning but honestly, I'm nervous. From about 2 to 530am it is like torture to stay awake and be able to think clearly and stay on my toes for whatever may happen. Also, the new step to night means that I am now 4 weeks closer to being on my own, with out my preceptor. The last few day she has sort of been giving me my own patient while she takes another to see how I do. I have been doing well, although I have been having a hard time finding the cervix to tell my pts what they are dilated too. arg. apparently it takes a few months.. so I've heard. I have been blessed with very patient families who have allowed me to learn with them and in turn, bond with them. I mean really, I see parts of them no one else sees, if you know what I mean. I have come a long ways but have so much further to go and more often than I'm overwhelmed. Are these heart tones ok? Is this deceleration ok? is she contracting too much? How the baby handling it? STAT c-section... AHHHH! No, you didn't pee on yourself, you water broke. The baby's not breathing!!! Should we call the NICU! The doctor wants me to do what? PUSH, PUSH, OH your a good pusher.. out flies baby.. wheres the doctor???
all these just really get your adrenaline rushing and heart racing and I pray that mom and baby and I all survive.
*sigh*over all, I love my job! God is amazing and anyone who has witness birth CAN'T deny it! So if you happen to think about me, or see a newborn please say a little prayer for me that I can be a sponge and soak all the knowledge up from the wise RNs around me and take the best care of my patients as possible. I have been given a wonderful opportunity to impact and bless so many lives and I want to give it my all.