Precious Moments

out with the old, in with the new

2009-11-09T19:42:00.008-06:00

New things that have happened since I blogged last. I will sum it up short and sweet- to follow after some pictures...

New house. love it.

Baby coming in April. love it.

Baby's gender being a suprize. excited!

Peeing a little every time I sneeze. hate it.embarassing.

Morning sickness. came on strong, now finally leaving some. greatful.

Feeling more confident at work. relieved.

New friends now becoming good friends. answer to pray.

Pebbles, the 2nd dog we rescued. annoying.

Ryder sleeping in a big boy bed. unsure.

Difficult time keeping Ryder in bed. challenge.

2 year old temper tantrums. awful.

Ryder talking alllll the time. fun.

feeling extremely groggy all the time. thank you night shift. hate it.

Never really seeing my husband. sad, hate it.

Desperately need a vacation. struggling.

Feeling the baby move. priceless.

Ryder biting a chunk out of his tongue. scary.

Going with Jeremiah to sono on wednesday to see the baby. oh so exciting!

Thats all for this time.

Dr. Ryder Phillips

2009-06-16T01:37:00.003-05:00

I love the sound of that! Although we will encourage and support Ryder in whatever the Lord leads him to be, you have to admit, the stethescope looks really cute on him =). And the t-shirt/no pants look does too (hehe)

I was listening to his lung sounds the other day and he decided he needed to check a few things out for himself.

Who: Dr. Ryder Phillips

Subjects: Buddy bear and the couch

Findings: a very sweet, calm and patient dog and a couch without a heart beat (who'd a thunk?)

Thank you Jesus for blessing us with such a wonderful son. He is such a joy and brings so many smiles and so much laughter into our life. Could not imagine life without him. He has a delightful, creative, kind and punky spirt who truely loves life and everyone around him. We love you Ryder.

mound of pillows!

2009-05-26T13:25:00.000-05:00

I was sitting on the floor drying my hair today when I looked up and saw Ryder dragging our couch pillows around the living room. Keep in mind these pillows are about his size and pretty heavy for him. I didnt say anything so as to not distract him. He was working pretty hard at moving them all and I was curious what his little 1 year old mind was about to create. He tried to stack them, moved them to a couple different sides of the room then ended up spreading them out right next to the couch. Poor little guy, broke a sweat and everything. It was so cute. The couch was the launch pad and the pillows were the soft landing =)

The parking spot:

little boy to big boy

2009-05-26T12:54:00.000-05:00

This last week (may 17-23) has been a big for my little Rydes. Monday night Jeremiah cut Ryders passy and told him it was broken.

One of the broken nassy's

Ryder would try to put it in his mouth and it would fall right out. He would say "nassy. It broken". It was supper sad to watch. Those first 2 nights were rough b/c he would ask for it. By wednesday he wanted nothing to do with the broken "nassy" but was having trouble figuring out how to calm down and relax to fall asleep. Now, I think he has it figured out, or well is on the right track. Sometimes I wish we still had it for in the car though. Oh man, nothing gets on my nerves more then listening to him whine/wimper in the back seat.

Then on Saturday while I was sleeping Jeremiah took down one of the sides of Ryders crib and made it the toddler bed. I was not exactly for this step but not totally against it either. He wasnt crawling out of his crib yet and it was still confining him. My husbands rational: If I fall asleep on the couch while he is asleep, when he gets up he can just come get me. *enter Kristina sighing and slightly rolling my eyes*. ummmm, riiiight. more like he will be woken up by Ryder falling off something or breaking something or by a loud noise of him getting into something while YOU ARE SLEEPING! geez.

Well, thank goodness. Once he is put in bed, he doenst get up and when he wakes up he usually lays there talking to himself, yelling "mooooommmmy daaadddddy", or cries but wont get out of bed.... yet. But at least once usually twice during the night we will wake up to a little thud, followed by a cry of him falling out of bed. I chuckle a little to myself. Shutup-its funny. Other than that he is doing great!!!

My sweet pumpkin sleeping soundly in his big boy bed =)

cell phone

2009-04-24T16:14:00.000-05:00

I dont talk on my phone a lot around Ryder, mainly b/c he wont let me but, I guess he has seen me on it enough... we have like 10 videos like this of him walking around having little conversations. Its so cute! My favorite is how he pretends to answer. He gets distracted easliy too =)

Dancing or jumping?

2009-04-24T08:27:00.000-05:00

This first video was from Easter this year. He LOVES him some veggie tales! He's in his diaper b/c we just finished coloring eggs... and he still looks like a baby and not such a kid =)

This second video Jeremiah took one night while I was at work. He loves to dance, or well, wiggle when american idol is on. OH he cracks me up.

Our conversations lately: (this one will happen within a minutes time... ALL day long)

Ry: whats that mommy?

me: a pillow

Ry: whats that mommy?

me: the letter A

Ry: whats that mommy?

me: A freckle

Ry: whats that mommy?

me: another freckle

Ry: whats that mommy?

me: mommys arm

Ry: whats that mommy?

me: Rain

Ry: WHOAHAH whats that mommy?

me: thunder

Ry: whats that mommy?

me: a piece of dirt

Ry: whats that mommy?

me: mommy's eye

Ry: whats that mommy?

me: ok Ryder bear, mommy is done with questions!. I tickle him we wrestle on the floor...seconds later

Ry: whats that mommy?

me: (looking at another freckle on my arm) Ryder, its a freckle.

I think he just likes to hear himself talk. Im convienced he really isnt paying attention. Or maybe his is, just has poor memory recall like his mommy. =)

lifes adventures

2009-04-06T04:32:00.000-05:00

Sorry, its been a while. Haven't felt much like blogging lately. I posted most of the new pictures on facebook... I have a few new cute ones. Work has been good. I cant believe Ive been there almost a year. Its true what everyone said, "give it a year before you begin to feel a little more confident." I definately still have a ways to go but with "normal" Im doing great. Throw in some complicated stuff and I can handle it but it still throws me for a loop. With in the last week 2 friends of mine have had babies at work. One, a friend from a church we used to go to and the other a dear friend who is one of our L&D nurses (we started the same time) It was so much fun going through that with the last one. She called up there a few times during the night to talk to me b/c she wasnt sure she was in labor.... she was and now a beautiful miss Kaylie is here! Sorry, I dont have a picture of her. We went up to see her yesterday after church. Ryder was all about that baby. "hi baby, baby", "hi baby" was all he would say while he looked at her, and patted her and gave her kisses. It was adorable. Soon Ryder, Soon you will be a big brother... in like a year or so!

Ryder is growing so much these days. Its fun watching him learn things. Its even more fun watching and listening to him when he doesnt know that I am and listening to him regurgitate everthing Jeremiah and I say. Its hilarious!!!!! Although, sometimes I would really like to sit him on the patio and leave him for a while. He is definately turning into a 2 year old. We had our first in store throw himself flat on the floor screaming tantrum in Target yesterday. VERY embarassing. He is becomming more and more difficult to take places lately. Sit down??? Hold still?? Eat your dinner??? what does that mean. lots of "Ryder, No No's" happening. sigh, wears me out! But on a better note, the other day I was getting some diapers out of his room when all of a sudden he is hugging and patting my leg saying "wuve you" then runs out. Oh I almost cried. It was so sweet. He really is a fun kid!

a few picutres:

Jeremiah and I on my birthday at Stonebriar waiting for our movie to start watching the little kids ice scate. =)

Ryder having a blast in poppy's shoes.

My mom and Ryder playing at the mall

Gotta touch and play in that water =)

My boys restling on the couch.

Potty training already?

2009-03-03T20:42:00.000-06:00

Well, sort of. Ryder is 19 months old now (=O) Around 15 months he began not liking certain bodily stuff in his diaper and really, who can blam him? I wouldn't either. 9 times out of 10, he will come and tell us or our babysitter "poopoo?" or "potty?", we will sit him on the potty and he will do his thing. Fire works go off and we get all excited and flush and say "bye bye poopoo" and wave. Its actaully really gross the more I think about it but hey, it has already saved us quite a few diapers. No complaints there! I finally remembered to grab the camera on the way back and snapped a few pictures that I know he will just LOVE when he is older. But for right now, he is my baby and is becomming such a big boy.

PS. notice the peepee shield. lol. thats my favorite!

snap shots

2009-02-05T10:53:00.000-06:00

Ryder and Addison... bff's

My sweet sleeping baby

Ryder and Uncle Daniel (my brother)

cutie patooty

need out

2009-01-29T20:01:00.000-06:00

The last couple of days I have been in such a funk. Nothing happened per say I just dont feel like doing anything but staring at the wall or sleeping. Nothing bad happened at work but I hate going. Everyone is so nice and helpful and I like working with them but I dont fit yet. Im like a 1st grader trying to fit into and be like college students. NOT going to happen. I have to go through every grade, study, learn, make mistakes, make improvements, strive for perfection, and graduate to the next grade only to do it all again. I have successfully passed pre-school and kindergarden but 1st grade is scary. On my drive to work I pray so hard that I dont kill anyone. Apparently that is a normal prayer of a nurse. comforting isn't it? Even the most experienced nurses tell me that, which makes me feel normal but isn't encouraging. I couldnt imagine doing anything other then labor and delivery. Its the best job. one would think the happiest. BUT, I think one of the saddest too. Last week, I was able to walk through a very difficult exerpience with my pt. I will keep it short so as to not violate any privacy. 2 weeks shy of being full term my pt comes via ambulance. Her water broke. She said she had felt the baby move all day but we couldnt find any heart tones. The MD did a sono and it showed no heart beat. This was devistating the her and her family. So many questions all of which had no answer. So much heart ache that no medicine could take away. After a long night of labor she delivered a beautiful baby boy. He was perfect. The baby had a cord around the neck and the MD and charge nurse believe when her water broke somehow the cord got to tight and strangled the baby. This was very difficult to accept. So many little ones are born with cords around the neck and body etc and they survieve... why him? It was very emotional for everyone in the room. Experiences like that I wouldnt wish on even my worst enemy but they really make one appreciate life. I went home and didnt want to let go of my precious Ryder. I am so thankful for him.

To continue in my funk mood. I love my church but my job makes it difficult to go and get involved. I dont have a set schedule and working nights really throws me off sometimes. Its hard to get involved in home groups when I cant promise attendence. Also, having a 1 1/2 year old also makes it difficult. I miss that fellowship and encouragement. My heart is yearning for God but feel so distant from him. I need accountability, encouragement and Bible studies with other families but dont know how to do that when every week is so different. I dont even know what to change to make it happen outside of quitting my job which I cant do b/c of our finances. We are finially stable then something happens. 2 steps forward 1 step back, 2 steps forward 2 steps back. I'm greatful for the forwards but the steps back are very discouraging. We had officially stopped using credit cards as of a few months ago. YAY us! cut up and thrown out. Then Jeremiah skidded on the ice and ruined his passenger side tires and rims. $1100's later, thats fixed but its on credit. NOOOOOOO!!! That was like 3 steps back. about $100,000 in school debt alone makes me want the throw up. Im greatful for my Education but really? Growing up is fun but I hate is just the same. I love playing with Ryder and wouldnt trade any minute of it. I try so hard to tell myself the dishes, laundry, vaccuming, cleaning, etc can wait until Ryder is down for a nap but as soon as he goes down, I usually crash too. Sometimes life is just so overwhelming and is just doesnt slow down. I'm so tired but have a difficult time sleeping. I want so bad when I wake up and cant go back to sleep to read scripture but cant seem to move. I hope this is just a mood that will pass. I need some sort of divine intervention and guidence.

The few things that bring a smile to my face. Listening to Ryder laugh and talk, his hugs and never ending kisses. His goofy smile when he gets embarressed, watching him dance to veggie tales, Jeremiah coming home from work and being able to spend time a little together. Buddy always being excited to see me and never turing away a good hug. And Ryder's new thing, dumping all the colored pencils out of the box then putting them back in the box, over and over and over again.

Whoever reads this, please pray that my heart conitues to yearn for times with Christ. Pray that a fire continues grows in Jeremiah too. We want so bad to be Godly parents for Ryder. Please pray for guidance as to what to do as far as Godly fellowship with other families. Thank you for taking the time to read this.

bluck

2009-01-14T15:17:00.000-06:00

Monday night it just hit me.... I feel really sick. I tried to tough it out in hopes that I could just sleep it off. No such luck. around 1130 I had to run to the bathroom where I spent the next 6 plus hours getting well aquainted with our toilet. (sorry, gross I know) I totally cleaned out all of my inners from top to bottom from the top and bottom. not cool. This blog post I am writing to Jeremiah. He was wonderful. Finially around 330 I called him into the bathroom and he brought me some Ice and something to quench my thirst, which I very quickly threw back up. Around 430, as Im curled over the toilet, he says "this looks familiar" (thinking she's gotta be pregnant!). For those who dont remember or didn't know me then, I spent all 38 weeks and 6 days next to any potty or sink I could find. I was pretty sure one of those times I was going to throw Ryder up. Anyway, I was quick to correct him and assure him this is a different kind of sick. He then, without complaining or saying a word, ran to 7/11 and got me some 7up, gatorade, and pepto yuck. The 7up was great the other 2, came up quicker than they went down. Although, the thought of pepto-bismal is enough to make me gag but I was desperate to get some releif. I was finially able to lay down about 530 as he was getting up and leaving to go workout. He kissed me on the check and out I went.

733 Ryder starts saying "mama....mama... out, mama, MAMA, MAMA OUT" I could hardly move I was still so sick and dehydrated. I managed to get myself out of bed, thank God the walls were there for me to catch myself from passing out. I was shaking so bad and was so weak I almost dropped Ryder =( I put him down and crawled back to the bathroom. Gagged a little grabbed my phone and Called Jeremiah. Without a complaint or anything he said "ok, I'll be right there". He ended up calling in to work and took care of Me and Ryder and cleaned the apartment! He was great. I love him so much and really didnt know he had it in him. Well, Iknew he did but bodily fluids aren't really his thing but he helped me so much. Thanks Jeremiah!

So today, Ryder and I drew him a picture.. see my little artist!! ( and all the poor baby acne from all his drool thanks to teething)

lets see, does it write on me?

"He-aw. Colaw." Translation: here, color.

say "Cheese"

All done! Great Job Rydes!

pictures speak a 1000 words

2009-01-01T11:39:00.000-06:00

Before......

After......

Christmas Day

2008-12-26T15:16:00.000-06:00

Unfortunately for me but fortunatly for all the laboring women, the job I chose never closes... even on holidays. So lucky me I got to work Christmas eve. A very crazy Chrismas eve. Wanna hear what happened? Well, with out providing too many details we had 2 STAT c-sections (thankfully both moms an baby's were ok) 1 really really sick mom.We a baby that was not doing well at delivery, the docotor ended up using a vacuum to help get the baby out but the baby wasnt breathing and they called a code so NICU had to run out of the OR where they were about to do an emergent c-secion on a 23 weeker to this other pts room until another NICU team got there. That baby ended up in NICU then they called another code in the OR so more NICU ppl came down and that baby ended up in the NICU. It was an intense night. One of the things I love about my job. you never know what is going to happen and things can change within less that a second. Pretty cool.
Anyway,When I got home Christmas morning, we did presents with Ryder then I went to bed. My awesome husband got me/us tickets to see the Trans Siberian Orchestra! How cool! The only problem is that I'm scheduled to work that night so I am frantically trying to find someone to switch shifts with me. I slept for all of 3 hours and 45 minutes (NOT enough time) then we headed over to my inlaws to do Christmas with them and all the nieces and nephews. I totally would have enjoyed it more had I not been so sleepy but it was fun to see Ryder actually get a little more involved in the excitment this year. Last year, he turned 5 months on Christmas so he was pretty much just a blob but this year... ohhhh man, those boxes were awesome. He loved tearing the wrapping (After we started it of course) then once it was unwrapped, he just wanted to sit on the box or push it around. Didn't care much for what was in it but seriously loved the box. it was cute. Overall it was fun, a little too much yelling if you ask me, stresses me out a little along with some other things that I wont add but, another fun exciting Christmas with memories to last forever!!!!! It was hard not being with my family for the 2nd year in a row but we will have Christmas with them when they get back from Kansas. Im equally excited! =)

Ryder with Daddy

the neices and nephews and a very sleepy Ryder who's hair matches the couch (lol)

Ryder and Alyssa escaping with a unopened box

Christmas with Beth!

2008-12-26T15:03:00.000-06:00

My dear friend Beth, whom I've known since 7 th grade (eep!) Has become one of Ryders adopted aunts...and she SPOILS him! a few nights ago I get a text from her saying I have something for Ryder, will ya'll be home tonight? I'm thinking she's so sweet, she got him a little toy!HAHA. She and her roomie and her mom and dad all bought him some gifts and it took them 2 trips to bring everything in. MERRY CHRISTMAS RYDER. We have truely been blessed with amazing friends and I'm so greatful that Ryder gets to have all of them involved in his life!

Ryder and Beth

Ryder, Beth and Ashley

Gotta do what daddy's doing.... So cute!

Thansk Beth!

Poor Baby Ryder

2008-12-15T12:22:00.000-06:00

The bone scan showed a hot spot on his right leg so the MD ordered more x-rays. So, off we went for more tests. FINIALLY an answer. The x-rays showed a nice broken bone. His little fibula (the smaller of the 2 lower leg bones) was broken. They said it showed on this x-ray b/c his little bone was already calcifying and thats what we were seeing. personally, I think they missed it. It was a little frustraiting having to go through all the other tests but I am relieved they found out what it was and it wasn't anything more serious. Dont know how he managed to do this. We have some ideas but really aren't sure.We went back to the orthopedic doctor and he put a boot on his leg. He has to wear it for 4 weeks. It pretty much the cuttest/ saddest thing. He has adapted well to this new addition. Thanks for your thoughts and prayers.

still waiting

2008-12-09T20:43:00.000-06:00

I am so proud of my baby Ryder. He did so good today. It boke my heart this morning when I watched him walk into the kitchen and go over to the pantry and say "peas!" fully expecting me to walk over and make him some oatmeal. oh it was sad. We did lots of distraction today. He FINIALLY got something to eat at 445 today. shew!!! He did excellent. He did a lot of sleeping. He has never just fallen asleep anywhere b/c he was tired. Usually he fights and fights and becomes a little monster but today... he fell asleep a few times. Between my mom and I we probably walked at least 5 miles around the halls waiting before and inbetween procedures. See pictures below of our walks. He eventually gave up and just laid back and enjoyed the ride and eventually fell asleep. oh and the red on his hands is from the wagon, not blood. His doctor called and said he would get the results in the morning and he'd call me then.... so, we wait........... patiently. and my mom drove me nuts like I suspected but I was still greatful that she was there.

FINIALLY!!!!! SLEEEEP

IV bandage =(

the plan

2008-12-08T14:08:00.000-06:00

Rydes kick'n back with some kix

So, monday morning rolls around and Ryder's limp definately hasn't improved but might have worsened a little. I paged the pedi this morning and we now have his bone scans scheduled for tomorrow. Its going to be a looooong day. He cant eat any solid food after 6am, the clear liquids must stop at 10 (when we arrive at the hospital). We will get checked in an his first scan is at 1200. They will take us to radiology, put Ryder to sleep, start his IV and inject the dye, then go for the first scan. After, he will go to recovery where we will be until 200, when we will go back to radiology, he will get put back to sleep and the second scan will be done. Please pray that I would have patience with Ryder. I know he will be scarred, tired, hungry, maybe in pain etc and all those on a normal day try my patience. Im not sure what outcome I'm praying for either. I dont know what would be better. Them finding something and treating it or not finding something and we leave not know why Ryder is still limping. :/ Please pray that somehow Ryder will understand what is going on too. Jeremiah cant come tomorrow b/c of work so my mom will be coming with us. I REALLY need patience with her. Right now, she is on my last nerve. I know she is my mom and I am glad she is coming but I could really go with out her comments and opinions about the matter. Anyway, I'll let you know what happens.

Ryder see.....Ryder do:

Update on Ryders limping =(

2008-12-05T20:13:00.000-06:00

Started limping on Saturday. Jeremiah took him to the MD on Monday. They orded x-rays and labs. Everything came back normal. He is still limping. Doc ordered more labs today. Still came back normal. So now he said, If he is still limping by Sunday night, page him Monday morning and they are going to ADMIT him and do a bone scan. a little scary. They think he either has an infection in his bone or swelling in his hip joint. I pray its nothing more than that. He's been through so much in his 1 year of life. I wish I could trade places with him so he could stop hurting. Poor baby he's a hard stick too and they stuck him a few times b4 they got blood return and he was just screaming. It was so hard to watch them hurting him for his own good. my heart ached. I'll try to keep things updated on here as I find them out. We are just watching him now to see if anything gets better. Please pray that he starts improving. Admtting him to the hospital and keeping him just wont be good.
I took this after his Bath on Tuesday morning. You can kind of see him limping. Its worse now =(

Life needs to SLOOOOW down.

2008-12-05T19:47:00.000-06:00

It feels like last Thanksgiving and Christmas was forever ago but somehow time just flew by. It doesnt make sense but it makes perfect sense. So much has happened since last holidays I just cant believe it. Ryder turned 5 months on Christmas day. He is now 16 months and such a little toddler. I love him so so much that words just can't explain it. He and Buddy play all the time. I found out the other day at work that the dog we found 16 months ago, Buddy, is worth a crap load of money and is one of the best dogs for kids. God is good.

Best Bud's

Work is going well, I think. More often than not I am very overwhelmed and "just run" goes across my thoughts but God has blessed me with absolutely AMAZING coworkers. They are so helpful and I hope someday soon I can be like them. I've been able to experience everything from good'ol natual childbirth, Emergency hysterectomys, uterine ruptures, uterine inversions, Fetal demies's, pregnant 14 year olds, ppl comeing in who are 35plus weeks and just found out they were pregnant (I had lots of questions for this individual. I dont understand how you don't know know your pregnant but oh well.) I have delivered 3 babies with my hands without a doctor. My favorite was when the lady came in at 509 and delivered at 511. we barly got her in the bed. it was a little intense. I have a few breech babies that had to go back for "urgent" c-sections. Many of my pts have told me I'm their favorite nurse and that helps so much. I love being able to bond with some of them and really be apart of their babies delivery. Last month they said we delivered 500 babies and that was sort of low. my eyes got a little big b/c I thought we were pretty busy. Shows how much I know. There are now 11 nurses that are pregant... must be in the water or something. DONT DRINK THE WATER!! j/k.

Grandpa and Grandma

2008-11-19T15:00:00.001-06:00

After having lunch with Luke and Noah (see post below) Ryder and I made a stop at my dads offfice to say hi then to the house to say hi to my mom.

My dad works on the 12th floor of the big white building on the Right on 75south just after going under 635. He has a great view! my dad is an Avation Attorney and had tons of little airplanes all over his office and of course, Ryder wants to hold all of them. My dad held him and Ryder pointed out all the cars and the birds that flew by and flew an airplane all over the window. cute cute.

Off to the house to say hi to mom....

Picking up acorns... yay!

CRASHED after a busy day

Luke and Noah!

2008-11-19T14:22:00.000-06:00

I used to nanny for a family in Highland park while I was in nursing school... their dad is the owner of 106.1 Kiss FM. AWESOME family. I learned a lot being with them and went through a really rough part of my life with them. They were with me through our wedding, my entire prengancy, Nursing school, some of Jeremiah's hospitalizations and just some tough times. Looking back at those times they sort of became my escape from life. Those boys sort of became like my boys/brothers b/c I was with them so so much. I just love them. They made me laugh so hard and in 2 seconds flat could make me so irritated. I started working for them about 2 months after I found out I was preggo. They got to see Ryder grow. When I got bigger they would love to feel Ryder move and would almost fight to feel. Noah, the youngest talked to Ryder through my mouth every day. It was so sweet. He would say. "Kristina, get down" so I'd go to my knees. " open your mouth" he would say so I would. He would then say very seriously " You are not an alien, you are human. This is Noah, I'm your friend. you are in your mommy's tummy here on earth. Do you know my voice? this is NOOAHHHH. OK" then he would pat my belly and run off. EVERY time I came over, that was the routine. I went back to work for them 2 weeks after Ryder was born so he basically spent the first 10 plus months over there. They were great with him. Totally protective and loved to show him off to their friends occationally calling him their "adopted" little brother. I had to explain nursing to them both too.. ugh. Luke, the oldest figured it out quickly, thought it was kind of gross but Noah, poor Noah couldn't really grasp it. Didnt understand why all Ryders wanted was milk and why he could drink form a sippy cup. He told me " When I was a baby, my mom didn't just give me milk. She had milk on one side and orange juice on the other." OHHHH I nearly peed myself when he told me that.

I really miss them. I have been keeping in touch with their mom and we decided that today, Ryder and I would suprise the boys for lunch at ST. Marks. It was so good to see them. I only got a picture of Luke and Christine (their mom) b/c I forgot I had my camera during Noahs lunch =( (the smear on Ryder's cheek is chocolate)

this is The Handy's .. my second family =) Cute aren't they??

Poo poo in the potty

2008-11-15T10:33:00.001-06:00

Ryder pooped in the potty!!!!! I was giving Ryder a bath the other day and he stared that grunting red face i'm beginning to poop face. I was like "ohhhhh no your not, not in there!" so I quickly picked him up and sat him on the toilet. He looked at me a little scared but he continued to push then he pooped in the potty!!! A little gross but he fussed a little when it was about let go like he was afraid to not feel it or something but ohhh was I excited. I got him down and we said bye bye as it flushed. As I was drying him off I was praising him and being really happy but I dont think he realize what he did. 15 months and pooped in the potty. YAY Ryder!!!! It was totally a one time thing but still. I'm proud =)

Christmas Tree

2008-11-15T10:04:00.001-06:00

This year, instead of doing halloween we went and got our christmas tree and put it up! It was pretty exciting. Ihave never in my life put up anything Christmas until after Thanksgiving but this year, we didn't have anywhere to put the tree but up, so thats what we did. I had to go in to work at 11pm so we shopped fast and put it up quickly. Ryder did what he could to help. It is a prelight tree so as we put it together I would say "look at the Rydes, pretty". After that, he would lean into the tree and stare really close and hard at one of the lights, so close his eyes would almost go crossed and say "pitty.... pitty". It was pretty funny. I think it turned out great. see...

"teeee"

"ights"

"pitty"

He's trying to help me "fluff" the tree

Finished product: Pretty

Any Suggestions?

2008-11-04T00:21:00.000-06:00

so. Its after 100am. nope, I'm not at work. UGGGGGHHHH! I just cant sleep. I can't even really blame my body for this, I think it's doing pretty good trying to keep up with my crazy new cycles. Although right now, it thinks that I should be awake even though I am telling it, its wrong. I am so desperately tired and very much so want to be asleep like Jeremiah, Ryder and Buddy but, here I sit. I laid in bed for quite some time tossing and turning, listening to Buddy snore and Jeremiah sleeping while periodically checking the clock hoping that it would reveal that I accidentally fell asleep but... no such luck. I decided to get up so as to not wake J by my tossing and turning and occasional sighs of frustration. (I've been wanting to put more pictures up but I'm having issues with the camera. It takes pictures fine but wont put them on the computer.)
I remember when I was younger and still in middle school and high school waking up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom or something and hearing my mom's radio on or stumbling across her in the living room. When I would ask her the next morning why she was still up she would always say that her body was tired but her mind would never slow down. I never understood that until recently. It could be perfect sleeping conditions but the minute I lay down its like chaos in my brain. Does this make any sense? Does this happen to anyone else? any solutions? I start thinking about work and get myself all stressed out and worried, then while continuing to play out bad scenarios I wonder to Ryder and If I'm being a good mom and raising him like I should, then to buddy and the lack of attention he has been getting, then to Jeremiah and how I could be a better wife and support him and how much I miss him and I hate debt then back to work, then to what to get ppl for Christmas then to my bad eating habits and lack of exercise, then about one of my dear Friends over seas, etc... you see the trend. It just never stops and there is always something to think about. Ive tried counting, reading, praying, guided imagery, watching a movie or TV etc. Sometimes one of them will work but now that I'm on nights... really its so hit or miss. I really don't want to revert to taking sleeping pills but I'm almost out of options. SUGGESTIONS??? I sort of miss being in the dorms b/c there was always someone up that I could go hang out with until I thought I could fall asleep. So anyway, this is where I'm at now.... help

RYDER'S VIDEO!
I tried to post this on here but the file was too big or something so here is the you tube link. It Ryder talking on our balcony. Please ignore my ramblings throughout... I Had been up for 36 hours on only 4 hours of sleep. What do you think? he's big isn't he? Oh and sorry for the boxy look, not sure what that's about.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SqTAWd5xPzo

I cant post a blog without some sort of picture so here are some older ones...

Our first picture as a couple =)

Just having fun!

sleepless nights

2008-10-24T20:10:00.000-05:00

I am slowly making the transition into the night shift. Its been good I think. The night shift and the day shift are seriously as different as night and day. Day shift was just so chaotic.. in a controlled sense but there was ALWAYS something going on and everyone always had a patient or 2. For those who don't completely understand nursing... one patient in labor and delivery is a full load and 2 is just insane!!! On med/surg floors most nurses have anywhere from 4 to 7 or so patients which is also a lot but L&D is different. We are basically and ICU for pregnant women. Regular ICU nurses only have 1 maybe 2 patients too b/c the acuity of the patients requires so much more attention and anything can change in the blink of an eye... Like L&D. Everyone on the night shift has just been amazing. They all have been telling me stories that are awesome and others scare the crap out of me, then they tell me not to quit and to give it at least 1 year to BEGIN to feel comfortable. AHHHHHH 1 YEAR!!! seems like forever. (insert prayer here!)
I have been privileged to so far to have excellent mentors to follow and also, interesting cases. I've had the crazy pts who I really don't know how they managed to get pregnant (very uneducated to put it nicely.. follow??) , then there are just the crazy patients who always have crazy family members ready to fight with anything, those who have 100 million questions that always get repeated over and over again, ages 12- 45, the non English speaking in which my charades gets fine tuned, the 450lbs plus, pretty much you name it, I've had it. The other night my preceptor helped me delivery my first baby (meaning the doctor didn't make it in time so "delivery by RN") that was exciting. anyway, I have so many stories I wish I could share but b/c of privacy issues, I cant. Overall, its a pretty exciting job that is still very overwhelming to say the least. My whole biological rhythm is off and I'm trying to get into a cycle but its hard. staying awake all night then trying to sleep all day an still be awake enough to play with Ryder. I constantly feel like I'm in a daze which isn't so fun, but... God is good and I have a great job.

Pumpkin patch .. better luck next time

2008-10-16T20:04:00.000-05:00

Today Ryder and I, along with my dear friend Lauren and her 2 boys decided we would go on a little outing... to see the pumpkins. We went to Owens farm in Richardson. Over all, it was fun I guess. I got more pictures of the top of Ryder's head than I wanted. A 14 month old doesnt understand how to sit for 2 seconds and look at a camera, not to mention the fact that it takes forever for my camera to take a picture. We did manage to get a few cute ones though. It was also a lot colder than we expected so the noses were definitly running along with Ryder's 2 feet.... wore me out!!! and I think that every school in the area decided today was their day to come see pumkins too. arg. We'll try again next year. But I think he had a good time and thats what I wanted.

On our way...

the pictures I got a lot of: top of the head.

The goat was a big hit. He kept saying "boody" thinking of Buddy our dog.

best bud's

VIDEO: small clip of today. as you will notice, the pumpkins are just too exciting to look at mommy, who is desparately trying to get a good picture.

Ryders Surgery Part 2 (its a long blog.. be warned)

2008-10-09T16:57:00.000-05:00

We have been waiting for a couple of months for today to get here, Finally.... its here. We tried to get everything together last night so that we could just get up and leave. The alarm went off at 5 (I absolutely REFUSE to get up before 5 am. anything starting with a 4 is just waaaaay to early for me.). Any way the alarm went off we slowly got around and managed to leave about 540. We arrived at Presby Plano at 6 and got checked in.

(looks like a cage... scarry)

Poor Ryder, he was so tired not to mention thirsty and hungry but he was such a little trooper. They brought us back to the preop room and gave him this tiny little hospital gown (see below, its adorable) and told us the anesthesiologist and Dr. would be in soon. Well, when cranky, tired, hungry Ryder is here, soon seems to take forever. Jeremiah walked with him around the hall. He looked at all the cool lights and stuff around the room, played with the curtain and played with gloves, ya know, pretty much anything we could come up with to distract him until "soon" came.

Such a good daddy

Finally the much anticipated doctors arrived and gave him some loopy medicine to make him forget things and calm him down for when they took him from us to the OR. soon he became all giggles and was giving such good Ryder kisses and was on cloud 9 (where ever that is). Then the dreaded moment came when the dr picked him up and said "ok, say good bye to mommy and daddy." Of course Ryder was all about laughing and giving kisses and was clueless as to what was going on and I was all about holding back tears. It was really hard watching them carry him off down the hall. He just looked like such a little boy in this big doctors arms and all of a sudden they turned the corner and were gone. I looked at Jeremiah and we both kind of had the same look... should we run after them? Obviously we didn't but having one more hug and kiss would have been nice. While they were back prepping him, Jeremiah and I made a quick run to Mc'D's, grabbed some breakfast to go and quickly made our way back to the waiting room to wait for any news. We managed to watch a few episodes of Fresh prince and ER. ER was probably not a good choice today, little kids dying... not good. I forgot how long waiting can be. We finally got the call, a little over 2 hours later, that they were heading to recovery so we quickly grabbed all our stuff to meet them. We were originally told that only one parent could come to recovery. GAY! We were both nervous/frustrated at that. we both wanted to go back to see him when he woke up and we needed each other for support while we were back there. Thank God, they let both of us go back.

When we walked in he was in a nurses arms in a rocking chair drinking sugar water.. they said he was hungry. the Dr's told us that the one hernia was bigger than they thought and they found another one on the other side so the poor little guy has 2 incisions. He looked really tired and like he was in pain. they assured me he wasn't but I assured them he was. After a while they finally believed me (after he kept crying and squirming and crying and crying and moving his legs which they also said he would NOT be able to do. hmmmmm, little frustrated.)

We went back to our preop room for more observation and they gave him some more pain meds b/c he was inconsolable. Terribly hard for a mother to watch her child in pain and not be able to do anything about it. Finally the meds kicked in an he dosed in and out in my arms. THEN out of the blue bam he through up all over me, the blankets the floor, the chair. Like, allll of the juice and then some we had given him to help calm him. it was gross. Jeremiah was freaking out almost throwing up himself. needless to say, Ryder felt better. I laid him in his bed and he slept some more while we cleaned up. 30 min later we were discharged home. yay! he slept the whole way home and has been sleeping in and out all afternoon. Poor guy, he just lays there, whimpers every once in a while then his eyes get really heavy and out he goes again. good drugs i guess.

I am so thankful for technology today, and the Drs ability to do these procedures. Thanks for all your thoughts and prayers. Please continue to pray that he heals. He cant walk yet. The doctor said not to let him cough a lot.. ummm how in the world do you tell a 14month old not to cough??? oh well, He's a good sport and a little grown up baby now.

I gave him my phone to play with (after all the good pain meds kicked in and he was loving it)

Ryders Surgery part 1

2008-10-07T20:23:00.000-05:00

Ryder has his surgery on Thursday. Its not serious or anything, just a day surgery. BUT. that is my little boy that I will be handing over to a doctor and his team. That is my baby that they will be putting to sleep and then CUTTING on. I trust them... I do. What I am having a hard time with is not being able to tell him where he is going, knowing that he won't understand whats going on and I have no way of telling him, he won't understand that Jeremiah and I will be there when he wakes up and that we love him. He wont be able to tell me exactly what and where he is hurting and if they/I give him any meds if they are working. Working in the medical field, I know what goes on in the OR, what the MD's talk about, the music they listen to the occational "oops" that can be fixed that isnt said to anyone etc. That also scares me. I want them to focus on what they are doing, not talk about their life but focus on my little life. you know? The unknown gets me nervous... b/c its out of my control. He feeds so much on what he sees around him. If I get upset, he cries. If I laugh, he laughs. If I "talk loudly" to the dog, he does too. So, with this pattern, Jeremiah and I really have to work on keeping ourselves together in front of him so he doesnt get worked up and cry b/c mommy is crying. Again, this isnt like a major life threatening surgery but, thats my baby. please keep us in your prayers on Thursday.

first 24 hours of life =)

Proud mommy and daddy

first bath =) so so cute!!

YIKES

2008-10-06T14:46:00.001-05:00

The last few weeks I have been working with my preceptor on the 7a to 7p shift. It has been going so well. I really think that I have one of the best jobs in the world. It is just amazing to be apart of the beginning of someones life. To be able to share those first hours of life with the new ones family. I mean, seriously, I get to witness miracles every day and it is just amazing. Hearing the babies cry for the first time still gets me all emotional. And most people, always remember their Labor and delivery nurse.
Next week, I will begin my adventure on the night shift (7p to 7a) Apparently it is much more conducive to learning but honestly, I'm nervous. From about 2 to 530am it is like torture to stay awake and be able to think clearly and stay on my toes for whatever may happen. Also, the new step to night means that I am now 4 weeks closer to being on my own, with out my preceptor. The last few day she has sort of been giving me my own patient while she takes another to see how I do. I have been doing well, although I have been having a hard time finding the cervix to tell my pts what they are dilated too. arg. apparently it takes a few months.. so I've heard. I have been blessed with very patient families who have allowed me to learn with them and in turn, bond with them. I mean really, I see parts of them no one else sees, if you know what I mean. I have come a long ways but have so much further to go and more often than I'm overwhelmed. Are these heart tones ok? Is this deceleration ok? is she contracting too much? How the baby handling it? STAT c-section... AHHHH! No, you didn't pee on yourself, you water broke. The baby's not breathing!!! Should we call the NICU! The doctor wants me to do what? PUSH, PUSH, OH your a good pusher.. out flies baby.. wheres the doctor???
all these just really get your adrenaline rushing and heart racing and I pray that mom and baby and I all survive.
*sigh*over all, I love my job! God is amazing and anyone who has witness birth CAN'T deny it! So if you happen to think about me, or see a newborn please say a little prayer for me that I can be a sponge and soak all the knowledge up from the wise RNs around me and take the best care of my patients as possible. I have been given a wonderful opportunity to impact and bless so many lives and I want to give it my all.

Copy Cat

2008-10-06T14:12:00.000-05:00

Ryder is coming into the stage of copying. He tries to copy what we say and what he sees us do. Many mornings I will sit on the floor and blow dry my hair while he sits in front of me making faces and eating cereal. He sees my brushing my hair and I brush his hair after his baths so when every he sees my brush, if it is within his reach he will grab it and try to brush his hair. well, the other morning I was getting ready and noticed that it had become unusually quiet. immediately "where's Ryder" ran through my head. I turned around to find him on the bathroom floor with 3 TOOTH brushes in his hands brushing his hair. It was hilarous and he was so proud of himself. It took me a second to figure out where he found all the tooth brushes. He opened one of the drawers in the bathroom and found the baggies of new toothbrushes, opened it and proceeded to groom his hair and brush his teeth. I ran and grabbed the camera and was able to catch a few of these precious moments. You will also notice the baby monitor at his feet that he was previously walking around talking into it like a phone.

Mommies to the park!

2008-09-17T17:14:00.000-05:00

Today 2 of my mommy friends and I walked to the park to let our boys play. It was so nice to get out with other mommies my age with little ones the same age. We went at 2 hoping the boys would be well rested after naps and with full tummies. not so much luck. It turned out to be the opposite. they had full tummies but definitely needed naps. Its hard being a yound mommy. up until a few months ago all our friends were either single, married without kids or married with kids but a few years older and in a different stage in life. Once we moved into this apartment complex were met (or in Jeremiah's care re-met) some of his old high school friends. It has been such a God thing. JohnPaul and Lauren are our age and they have a little boy, Cade, who is 1 month and 10 days older than Ryder and they have a little one who is also 2 months. They are amazing. It has been such a relief to hang out and talk with Lauren who understands this stage of mommy hood. our boys play or try to play together a couple days a week while we get some much needed adult conversation. Then we met Becca and Tyler who have a little boy who is 18 months. We are still getting to know them but God is just amazing and has blessed us with some amazing friends who we can live and experience life together. Anyway, some of the park pictures (inbetween the tears)

mommies: Lauren, Becca, Me
kiddos: Cade, Zach, Ryder (baby Madden crying in the stoller to the left)

Zach and Ryder loved swinging.

Zach was def. the explorer when we first got there. Cade and Ryder were taking it slow, a little set back by the huge step to the wood chips.

Best friends:

cutie patootie

2008-09-17T16:17:00.000-05:00

Within the last 2 weeks Ryder has just grown up so much. He is walking better (and falling harder), talking and babbling more, he understands more things, LOVES giving kisses (especially to Buddy) and has learned new behaviors... temper tantrums and high piched shreeking. arg. I have never been so incredibly annoyed and in love at the same time with such a little person. As of Monday I have started back to my 12 hour shifts in Labor and Delivery. Its been overwhelming coming back. I feel sort of thrown in. Monday and Tuesday were full moon nights which equals TONS and TONS of babies and laboring mothers. Its not just a movie thing.. moms do tend to go into labor on full moons. I pretty much had my own patient all of Tuesday b/c my preceptor had to get another which was a little scary. Its kind of like doing beginning algebra (bad illustration but hopefully it makes sense.) When you have been doing it every day, in class having an excellent teacher taking you step by step, explaining everything,answering all your questions, and helping you learn. Then summer comes, you don't even think about math, your book gathers a few layers of dust and its the last thing on ur mind. August comes around, you take a test then ur teacher say oh by the way you get to teach calculus today.. ok go. AHHHHHH. But overall it has been very nice being back. I am so blessed to see miracles everyday and it really cant get any better than this. God is just amazing!!!Jeremiah is still doing banking and is also taking 2 classes at CCCC. I think he is enjoying it. It gives him something to keep busy and excel in. below are just some pictures that I have taken last couple of weeks of my sweet little one.

mornings: after I shower, I sit on the floor to dry my hair and Ryder has decided he is going to join me. he sits across from me and eats breakfast and giggles at me. then if i have cartoons on he will go and dance to the music. then when the music stops he is bord and moves on to the toys =)

dancing.

too fun!!!! the morning look.

here are just some cute pic's

Ryder and his mommy... not that great but since I am usually the one behind the camera I had to get one of me on the other side.

Isn't he just the cuttest!

Buddy's striking a pose haha

Ryder just loves playing guitar with his daddy. He gets so excited and grins from ear to ear. and buddy, well, who knows what he is doing.

my little red head playing in dirt.. mmmmmm

Escapee

2008-09-09T11:29:00.000-05:00

Ryder has a huge fascination with opening and closing doors. If there is an open door he has to open it a little further, then closes it. He walks away SO proud of himself with a big smile in search for the next open door. well within the last weeks he has discovered how to open the front door. AHHHH! I have always seemed to catch him before he gets it open far enough to get out but on more than one occation Jeremiah has caught him on the other side of the front door. He thinks its pretty cool that he can reach the door handle... so does Buddy (our 70lb dog)I on the other hand... am not incredibly excited about this accomplishment.

He may be on his tip-toes but... he can still reach!!!

Little Drummer boy

2008-09-08T11:35:00.001-05:00

So the other night we went to Jeremiah's brother's to play games with him and his wife. Josh, Jeremiah's brother is a drummer and has a small drums set in their living room. While we were playing, Ryder kept eyeing the drum set and eventually put down his baby toys and got enough courage to go touch. being the brave little boy his is he began to grab the drum sticks and proceeded to drum around. Josh got up and set him on the drum stool and put the sticks in his hands the correct way and Ryder LOVED it. He actually did well for being 13 months and just had such a blast banging around... as you can see.
I'm hope this doesn't continue... I hoping he follows daddy's foot stepts and goes guitar =)

shocking

2008-09-06T22:14:00.000-05:00

so... I can't believe that I'm actually joining the blogging world. At this point I'm not even sure what to write. so... I'll leave it at this, for now, until I can figure it out. More to come!!!